Have Some Fun-Do Some Good!

June 1, 2006
My husband Brendon and I are pumped up with excitement and anxiety about our upcoming adventure as Peace Corps Volunteers in South Africa. We will be assisting non-government agencies with AIDS prevention/care programs in four provinces in the northeast corner of the country. We feel like we won the lottery as the likelihood of a couple our age passing the health requirements, finding a Peace Corps job assignment, and being able to set aside their lives for two years is somewhat remote. The excitement builds as we think about the opportunity to help other people, learn a language and intimately experience a new culture in an amazing democracy. Our friend’s reactions have been either “Wow” or “Why”. The “Wow” people state that this is the opportunity of a lifetime and they would love to be going. The “Why” people cannot understand why an ordinary middle-aged couple from a middle class community would want to leave the comforts of the US and take on unknown risks. Our motivation is only partly altruistic; Peace Corps in South Africa is a fabulous chance to travel and grow personally. Life in Palos Verdes is comfortable, but the best things in life are not comfort. In fact comfort is usually the antithesis of growth and progress. Brendon and I do not question “Why go” but we do feel anxious about how well we will fit in, maintain our health, use our skills and be effective in this new chapter of our lives. The opportunity to serve our country and the people of South Afrca is compelling and we are delighted to be going.


June 23, 2006
Today Brendon and I met with the property management company and signed over control of our home to the property manager, Mary. The lease was signed with the tenant and we will be homeless on July 15 after 20 years of occupying the same four walls. We also set up new bank accounts for management of our home, obtained insurance for a rental property and created a contact list. Every step forward is a multi- step process; first there is the drag and then the drain. I do not like to do this much work and I am reluctant to make so many life-changing decisions. My emotions tell me that this is not a sound action. My mind and body resist at every turn. Then there is some mind over matter-if I do not go forward I will be back where I started in the numbing world of the suburbs for the retired-I have already completed the most difficult part of the process and my home is leased for a year. Then there is general angst because I cannot trust another human being to take care of my affairs and I am afraid of loss, fraud and being taken advantage of. Loss on control is difficult until I realize that I must "Let Go and Let God" take over. Then there comes a resignation where I review all of the options and realize that this business person is capable of servicing my needs and I should be satisfied and grateful that someone is taking on my responsibilities so that I can go to South Africa for a remarkable opportunity, have a beautiful home to return to and not worry about any aspect of home ownership during this special experience. Alas the final step is the euphoria when evening comes after a glass of wine and I visualize picking up the ball of bills, repairs, fuss and details and tossing it over to Mary to pick up and hold high. What a relief and a joy to throw the ball and have someone catch it on the first try!


July 3, 2006
Yesterday was our farewell party and it truly was a thrill to see so many friends, neighbors, coworkers and intimates from the past including our best man from our wedding and my childhood friend from Hayward where I grew up. The day was truly beautiful with a great spirit and perfect weather. The only regret was not having more time to visit individually with people but the chance to greet everyone and receive their blessings was so pleasurable for Brendon and me. Today the packing begins in earnest as I have been delaying the onset of chaos because of the party and the fact that it is painful to disturb the orderliness of our lives and surroundings. Pack we must with a decision to be made for of each of the some odd 10,000 or more objects in our home and garage. Picture five buckets as possible destinations for the objects: Store, Give to Son who just moved into a UCLA apartment, Discard, Take to Goodwill or Assistance League, Take to Africa. We are allowed only 2 suitcases totaling 100 lbs so the last destination will be very limited. How does one determine the fate of material possessions that have little true value? Is the criteria monetary value, sentimental value, usefulness (remember we are coming back in 2 years), beauty, delight, or just longevity in terms of being around forever and cemented in our minds as part of the landscape. Fortunately we had a garage sale in June which eliminated some of the bulkiest items including TV sets, barbeques, sewing machines, luggage, diving gear, broken surf boards, books, costume jewelry and cast iron cooking pots. China tea cups went to the new bride next door. Towards the end of the sale we realized that each customer should be encouraged to take 2 items for the price of one as those “treasures” are only useless baggage that are slowing us down from our goal. One customer wanted to buy our Honda, but alas that had been promised to our son Alex.
As the 44 boxes for storage were finally packed, a feeling of euphoria and freedom set in. We are actually going on this great adventure and our worry about our possessions is over.
July 10, 2006
Moving day is here and the Bekins van showed up at 9 am as promised. Our emotions are riding high but there are no tears or regrets as the furniture and boxes are loaded into the van. One telling event was the cry I heard from the mover as he shifted the weight of my mother’s loveseat onto one leg for pivoting unto the dolly. Eeeeekkkk!! Termites in the wooden leg of the 80 year old loveseat with the jungle print. Half of the wooden foot dissolved with dry rot against the floor. I assured the Bekins man not to worry as one of our many pre- Peace Corps departure tasks had been to have our houses tented for termite extermination. So the termites were good and dead but what a creepy feeling to think they had been living in the comfortable furniture supporting our bodies. This brought to mind the Biblical admonition not to lay treasures up where moths (and maybe termites) do rot and thieves break in. What a relief not to deal with homeowner repairs for two years.
On June 26 we received our staging information for the Peace Corps and were startled to read that the departure date was postponed from July 17 to July 24. As our house was leased as of July 15, we needed to make plans as to where to call home for a week. Maybe fly to Philadelphia a week before staging and then sneak off to Maine for week touring the coast. We made our goodbyes to relatives and friends in North Dakota and California during the last few months so they probably don’t want to go through another farewell. Passports were given up to the Peace Corps so a trip to Mexico, Europe or Canada was out. So what to do when time produces opportunity= Kailua Beach here we come!
July 19, 2006
We are here in a cottage by Kailua, on the windward side of Oahu. This is truly one of the world’s most beautiful, seductive and pleasurable beaches with shady pines providing protection from the sun, fine white sand, gentle surf with warm caressinge water, islands and volcanic mountains to frame the picture, and the loveliest aqua colors for the water meeting the teal sky where there is always billowy clouds with the promise of passing showers. Days are spent with a morning walk or run down the 3 miles of beach, breakfast of malasadas fresh from the Portuguese bakery emitting their doughy sweet sizzling richness and delicacy, reading literature on the history of South Africa, and resting peacefully in our delightful abode. The living areas of the cottage are decorated with painted plaques that read “Life is good at the beach” “Life is a beach” and “Sunny Vacation”. The cottage is 20’ by 20’ with a living room-kitchen combo, bedroom and bath. I am amazed at our neatness in this small space which meets all of our needs. Evening entertainment is provided by the neighbor with the ukulele emanating only the most sentimental, melancholic melodies that stir some deep emotion. We are glad to be here for some R and R as the last week was very hectic with the move and pack out, painters, carpets, cleaners, accountants, DMV changes, financial maneuvers and efforts o fit all of our stuff for Africa into 4 suitcases. We have to bring warm clothing and sleeping bags so half the space is taken with absolute essentials. Last Tuesday my son Erik arrived from NYC for the funeral of his childhood OMA in Banning, so in the midst of the final pack out we were mourning the loss of the woman who loved our sons and cared for them as only an Omi can do. We slept in our house on Monday night on the floor without furniture or knick knacks or boxes or memorabilia and realized that the house was not longer our home. On Thursday my sisters Sally and Lillian arrived by air at LAX to spend a final family fun day (amidst the painters, cleaners and carpet layers) and then took our car on Friday to the Bay area for safekeeping. So we were zonked out when we got on the plane Friday night, homeless and no longer owning any vehicles.

However, after two days of resting in the tropical sunshine and beaching we are feeling great, fully restored and ready for action. Our cottage is four houses away from Kailua beach on the windward side of Oahu (Kaneohe bay). Kailua town is great for walking and biking. There are no hotels here so it is somewhat picturesque, with mainly locals. The town has some good restaurants if you want to eat out. However, cooking is fun as the stores and Costco have an amazing variety of local fish. Sunday we went to church in Honolulu and then to Chinatown for lunch at a Vietnamese restaurant. Great food served with four kinds of fresh herbs and many excellent pho dishes.

July 20, 2006
With some reluctance we are packing up to leave for LAX at 6am tomorrow morning. Kailua is womblike with ambient temperatures, gentle breezes and beautiful sites. The locals are full of "Ohana", the spirit of community, with drivers stopping for pedestrians more often than not and everyone greeting as they pass by. Hawaii is nurturing, pleasant and fun; it would be easy to ignore our calling to South Africa and settle down here as retired coots enjoying the beach, beautiful birds and easygoing ways. Our minister in Palos Verdes had a sermon our last day in church about getting sidetracked in Haron on the way to Canaan, the promised land. Haron was probably very pleasant and beguiling but not the site where the blessings lie. So before we get too settled in, it is time to discard the beach clothes and key up our minds to the mission ahead.

July 25, 2006
Philadelpia Staging (The Big RoundUp)
Brendon and I arrived here in Philadelphia on Sat. night after a few delays on the tarmac at LAX and plenty of wrestling with our luggage. We spent a great evening in a neighborhood restaurant with an old friend and had lunch with our son Erik on Sunday. Philadelphia has plenty of historic sights and distinctive neighborhoods. I was most impressed with the lovely squares throughout the city covered with canopies of fine maples and the patina on the old brick row houses. We walked along the Delaware River and enjoyed seeing a park devoted to the starving Irish who immigrated to the US during the potato famine. The centerpiece of the park was a bronze boat with grim lifesized figures of men, women and children arriving at the promised land. The Old City neighborhood where the hotel is located is full of ethnic restaurants including 3 Afgan, 2 Indian, 3 Irish, one Cuban, and one Rotten Ralphs eateries were all on the same block. The nights are warm and pleasant so it is fun to sit in the outdoor cafes and enjoy the parade going by.

Yesterday was the official registration for the 82 Peace Corps volunteers (oops trainees) going to South Africa so this was the first chance we had to meet and greet our friends, confidants, and support system for the next two years. This truly was one of the most exciting days of my life as we saw the mainly young people unload from the vans in front of the hotel loaded with jumbo sized suitcases, backpacks, duffle bags, sleeping bags and a big smile. Some seemed like old friends as we have been conversing in a Yahoo chat group for months about our expectations, fears and packing lists. The group come from all over the United States including Alaska. Our orientation session in the afternoon revealed the sincerity, intelligence and commitment of the volunteers and ended being very pleasureable as we found out that we shared many of the same values and motivations. Plus the group was a lot of fun and there was a very positive, joyful spirit. We shared our anxieties about illness, crime, fitting in, learning the language, outhouses as well as our excitement and high hopes for this amazing adventure. The experiences of the last few months regarding the discarding of a way of life, the loss of possessions and position in life, and the physical chores to prepare for the Peace Corps created a commanality of experience that seemed to create immediate bonds and insiders knowledge. What a great group of people that I hope will become true friends.